Reflections on blogging…1 month in

*Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with running or food. Reader beware, I talk about feelings!!

It took me a year and half to finally get the confidence to start blogging. When most people meet me they probably wouldn’t think I would be one to lack confidence. I’m an extrovert, opinionated, and have an incredibly high competitive spirit. I think most people associate those qualities with someone who is confident. And superficially, I probably am. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

Healthy living blogs completely transformed my life when I started reading them a year and a half ago. I went from looking in the mirror everyday hating what I saw and feeling sorry for myself to actually doing something about it thanks to the ability to sit silently behind a computer screen and read about other people’s lives. My first thought when all these positive changes started to take hold was “I should start my own blog!” It would be a way for me to document the changes and start to interact with a community that was inspiring me to continue down this new path. But, confidence ate me alive. A million excuses would come up. “I don’t have time to blog, I work full-time. No one will read my blog. My family and friends will make fun of me (and I’m sure some probably do now<–whatever!). What will I talk about everyday?” And the list goes on and on…

The one recurring theme I see in all that looking back at it now though is lack of confidence. Of course, at the time I didn’t see that, I just saw valid excuses.

My mom likes to tell me how as a child, I wouldn’t even attempt to walk until I was sure I could do it perfectly. I did not want to fail. That fear of failing that started at 10-12 months old, continues to stick with me today at 29. It’s exactly what kept me staring at the computer day in, day out reading about other people’s lives, wanting to share my own life, and my own passions but, not actually taking the initiative to do so.

I don’t know what changed last month. Maybe it was a friend’s brilliant blog title or just being sick and tired of the fear and lack of confidence consuming me but I started this lovely little site and it’s been one of the best months in a long time for me.

Life has been interesting these past few years. Not at all what I expected it to be. I’m not going to dwell in the details but in the last 5 years we’ve gone through moving to FL, hating FL, giving up career changes, moving back to NY, living in my in-laws house, buying our own house, realizing I don’t really like NY and moved back for the wrong reasons, wanting to move back to FL, 3 job title changes in the past 1.5 yrs, not being truly “happy” anymore at work, and dealing with some pretty stressful business issues. I know many people deal with things like this (or even much, much worse) and I’m not trying to complain I’m just trying to illustrate how these past few years haven’t exactly been easy mentally. It has actually been a struggle to try and just be happy at times. I know there are plenty of bigger things to be happy about: health, family, jobs, etc. but the little things can sometimes be overwhelming.

It almost sounds so ridiculous to say that this past month of blogging has helped me to finally feel happy, but it has.  It has allowed me an outlet to dabble in the things I love but couldn’t quite figure out how to incorporate in my life before (while still paying the bills! Because, as much as I’d like it to be going to culinary school just isn’t a reality for me right now Winking smile). It has allowed me to start to feel like I’m “getting to know” others out there with similar interests. I hope someday they turn into real friendships. It’s helped give me perspective and find balance in my job, interests and life. And most importantly, it’s given me something to look forward to each and every day. I embrace a good, sweaty workout. I want to capture the perfect picture of the food I cook to share it. And, I get down right excited when someone comments on something I’ve written!

Of course the whole competitive spirit kicks in too and now I want a better camera and a nicer website to be able to put forth my best effort with this. I’m not a patient person if you haven’t already guessed. Smile

The confidence issue still lingers though. When I have to travel for 4 days straight and can’t blog about a meal I’ve made at home I worry about content and if anyone even cares about what I’m posting.  If I have a blog about running but have no upcoming races will people still think I’m “legit” enough? If I have a day with fewer hits than the last I start to second guess myself and my abilities. But then I have to remember why I read other people’s blogs and it always comes down to the “realness” factor for me. I don’t want to read about someone’s life that is seemingly perfect where they are doing fun, exciting things each and everyday because that’s not realistic. I enjoy reading the daily happenings of people like me so I have to think that there are others out there thinking the same about my blog. I don’t think the confidence thing ever goes away but, you can get better at identifying it when it rears it’s ugly head and course correcting.

So, all this to say thank you. Thank you to my small, little group of readers who have supported me in this endeavor so far. Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting. Your support is what makes me excited to do this again tomorrow and happy I was able to get the confidence to start this thing in the first place! Shouldn’t have waited so long, it’s the best decision I’ve made in a long time. Smile

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22 Comments

Filed under Blogging

22 responses to “Reflections on blogging…1 month in

  1. You’re awesome! Glad you started your blog!

  2. I felt as if I was reading about myself when you wrote that! As you know I recently started a blog after reading everyone elses and feared no one would read it or like it or worse make fun of me about it, which of course some friends do. But like you said it is an outlet for the things you enjoy doing and if anything encourages me to continue doing them. Keep up the good work!

  3. Ashley

    I’m so glad that you decided to start blogging! I only just found your blog a couple of days ago, but you already have my avid support.

  4. Kim (Book Worm Runs)

    Aww, yay Gina!!! 🙂 I am so glad you got the confidence to start your blog…you rock!! And I have many of the same feeling as you so you are definitely not alone!! 🙂 Keep up the awesome job and I will keep reading! Can’t wait to meet soon! 🙂

  5. Love this post! I resisted taking up blogging forever, dinally a friend convinced me to try it and I gave it a week… almost a year later and I love it and culdnt imagine life without it. It’s my free therapy ahaha

  6. Isn’t it amazing how a little blog can boost your confidence? I’ve had a few jobs and a few different living spaces in the last 3 or so years, and thank goodness I’ve settled down. I’m not crazy about my current job, but at least I’m settled! Moving around is so physically and emotionally draining.

  7. I only started following your blog three weeks ago via Google Reader, and I must have missed the first week where you’d only just started. After one week of your blog, I then took a 2 week break to get married, have a honeymoon and move to California. I had no idea you’ve only been blogging for a month. You seem as much of a seasoned blogger as anyone out there. Keep it up! I’ve been blogging at mine for 6 months, but I write for myself, mostly; I’m only just now learning how to build a readership. I find writing for oneself is a good way to overcome confidence issues. I find that if I don’t want to read it, I don’t imagine others would either! Good luck! 🙂

  8. I wish there was a way to go back and edit comments after posting. I meant, “after one week of *reading* your blog I happened to take 2 weeks off from the Internet to get married, etc”

  9. aww this is a great post and I’m so glad you finally got the confidence to start your own blog! I agree that when I started I dwelled on how many readers I had, the quality of my photos, and how my site looked but in the end, it’s all about the content. You write good stuff, people will keep comingback 🙂 Keep it up!

  10. Ok please can I just copy and post?! haha! Seriously though you have just written down exactly how I felt and still sometimes feel about blogging and life in general! Great post hun and really glad you found the confidence to start Running to the Kitchen! As corny as this may sound I reckon it will lead to great things for you! 🙂

  11. This is a WONDERFUL POST!!!!! I’m so glad you started this blog. I thought I knew you kinda well before…but this is whole new you 🙂

  12. barbara

    I love this post, I love that blogging makes you happy.I’m happy you found a passion and a way to share it. Plus I like when I get to try out the new recipes!!! :))

  13. Dad

    remember when you were too shy to go to the BK /MDees counter to ask for something.How things have changed. LUV YA

  14. I just started blogging too! And I agree with everything you said! Thanks for sharing. Your site is beauitful looks like you have been doing it forever, I am jealous 😉

  15. Aunt Claudia

    I enjoy your blogs Gina. I really do! I love the “joy” i hear in them. I love your pics!
    Plus right now I am finding inspiration as I work on getting into shape! Ugh
    So keep doing what you love and you will always love what you do….
    I look forward to your next blog!
    Love ya!

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